Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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