I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Im part way to drunk.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Randomize
