if i can run in heels then i can drive
literally had 100 drinks last night.
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
