Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
