You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
