She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Randomize
