Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize