i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
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