And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
