If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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