There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
