I hate your face
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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