i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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