My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Randomize
