How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
