And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
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