Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
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