i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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