i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
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