hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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