im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
