cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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