That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Randomize
