i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
