do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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