so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
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