He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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