eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Terrible idea I love it
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
