YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
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once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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