I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
She has the best kind of daddy issues
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
