Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Randomize
