She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
