Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Randomize
