Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
