Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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