The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
He kissed a someone with a penis
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
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