the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Randomize
