ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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