I'm going to jail i love you
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
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I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
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I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
i believe in u and ur pee
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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