am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
