So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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