We're facebook friends in real life
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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