I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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