do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
