If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
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