Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize