Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
