She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
This is classic penis vs brain.
My vagina is officially offended.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
