God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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