Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
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