i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
is it fun? or sober?
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
