She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
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Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
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Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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