are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
