Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize
