Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I need moral support for this bender
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Randomize
