Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
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