Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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