Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Randomize