Your face is a jimmy john
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
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