what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Randomize
