Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
