He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
