You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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