Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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