i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
It's official drugs can't kill me
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
