white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
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