Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
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