Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
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