so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize