then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Randomize
