she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize
