This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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